Director: Jessy Terrero
Writer: Curtis Jackson, the half-dollar man himself.
I have never liked 50 cent. His music is lackluster and his demeanor has always seemed false (he’s been shot like seven hundred times). He’s like a showbiz version of a 15-year old trying to buy beer by dressing up as an adult. Nonetheless, his music career skyrocketed and soon 50 Cent decided that he wanted to conquer the silver screen. His career highlight was 8 Miles rip-off Get Rich Or Die Trying, where 50 Cent managed to get a prestige director Jim Sheridan to try and salvage his vanity project. Here 50 Cent, or Curtis Jackson, tries to emulate Scarface, with pretty much bland results.
Directed by Mr. Jackson’s music video helmer Jessy Terrero, Gun tells a tale of a small-time gun dealer Rich Taylor (Jackson) who aims to climb higher at the food chain by eliminating his competitors and get a substantial distribution deal made with a big shot business man. However the local cops and the F.B.I. are close on his trails, so Rich needs to use all his “smarts” to outwit the law.
Val Kilmer is also in this. He plays Angel (no, not that Angel, but it would have been an interesting casting decision in Buffy), a small time crook, who gets out of prison and gets involved with Rich and his four-guy posse. Angel proves to be a great asset for Rich, but Angel carries a secret that “shocks” audiences at the beginning of the third act.
Let’s talk about the acting. Curtis Jackson really tries to be convincing, but his acting abilities are not great. Not for a second did I believe that 50 Cent is a guy, who would be a threat to any legitimate thugs. His “tough guy” image is even laughable from time to time. Val Kilmer fairs better, though it’s obvious that he’d like to be somewhere else. Kilmer looks like a man who is defeated by the machinations of Hollywood which works out well here, because the character is pretty much the same way. James Remar plays a cop and he has really stopped giving a fuck about his career. He’s there to collect his paycheck, as is John Larroquette, who has a small role as the money man. AnnaLynne McCord plays 50 Cent’s romantic interest and she is okay. I mean her role is completely bland and thankless. She looks great and has an incredible face palm-inducing sex scene with Two Quarters, so she earned her salary here. Oh and yeah, Danny Trejo stops by to get shot by 50 Cent.
Not only did Curtis Jackson handle the acting duties, but he was also the screenwriter, and I can totally buy that the story came out of his mind. Jackson treats his gun dealing criminals like rap stars, making them full of swag. Women like their style and seem generally thrilled to be around them. For instance, there’s a scene where Rich’s buddy describes how Rich slammed a rude kid on the head with black and white television and all the girls in their posse react like that is a funny thing to do. Wouldn’t you react somehow differently, like making your excuses and leave as soon as possible? Curtis Jackson seems to know very little about the criminal underworld of Detroit. The gun dealing scenes feel like an episode of Walker: Texas Ranger and Rich feels mostly like an idiot. In Scarface Tony Montana’s undoing was his cockiness and pride, but here it feels like Rich’s Achilles Heel is incompetency. He is not subdued because success blinds him, but because he is an idiot.
This film is underwhelming and totally forgettable, and the bleak photography doesn’t help to spark an interest in the viewer. I think even the hardcore fans of Mr. Jackson are going “meh” while watching this uninspired “crime drama”.
And what the hell was the thing with his ridiculous contact lenses?
Best scene: Curtis Jackson endlessly beats an overweight half-naked Mexican in the balls with a baseball bat. While the poor fucker hangs upside down from the ceiling. Our hero, ladies and gentleman.
Most memorable bit: Curtis Jackson uttering the line: “No one’ll gonna miss me.” You said it, bro.