Director: Po-Chih Leon
Writer: Trevor Miller
Starring: Steven Seagal, Ida Nowakowska, Matt Schulze
Synopsis: Steven Seagal is a pen pal to this Polish 12-year-old, who lives in a shady orphanage, where the girls are sold into sex slaves (I think, it’s never made quite sure what the bad guys’ ultimate plan is). Steven goes into Poland and looks for the girl.
How many men does it require to capture one Gene Simmons? Answer: Five guys in a suit and one mail man.
The Polish Version of The Bachelor is forced to use even younger and younger contestants.
Every actor uses different methods for achieving that Steven Seagal level of intensity.
Another succesful date night for Steven.
The producers’ meeting was just another day at the office.
The painting lost the staring contest with Steven Seagal.
Mike Judge’s rendition of My Dinner With Andre.
George Lucas adds additional effects also to paintings and other works of art.
A manly toast.
Seagal’s new dance moves inspire the nation!
Sentence: Not eligible for adoption.